Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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