32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize