your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
