i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
