an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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