I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
