Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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