Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize