get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
