Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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