If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's official drugs can't kill me
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize