And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just gift wrapped bread.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
