Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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