I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
