We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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