The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
