Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
