Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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