you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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