why didn't you poke me back
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
