my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
