I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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