I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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