btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
