Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
