nut hugger
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
