i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
