I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
