Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
