my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
