Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
