New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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