so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
