Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize