I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
