I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
