On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize