I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
