so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't deserve a penis
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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