i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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