My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
