I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
