I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
