It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
