Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
