all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
