They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
