I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I need to stop coming to work sober
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
