you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
