Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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