youre lurking in front of me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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