Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
