We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
