I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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