Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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