I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
