It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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