i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
