i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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