He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
