Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
