he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
